My Connections to Play

By Lisa Martin

                                                                                       

“Play is our brain's favorite way of learning.”              

                                                         Diane Ackerman

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.”

                                                  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A child loves his play, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.”

                                                     Dr. Benjamin Spock



MUD PIE

I cannot begin to tell you how important play was in my childhood. It was a time when we could be free, when the adults weren’t telling you what to do or watching your every move. My grandmother would facilitate our backyard play by giving us old muffin and pie pans in which to make our mud pies. Looking back I cannot believe I used to enjoy digging up dirt; today I have no desire to garden or do anything that involves putting my hands in mud. I guess in childhood we are more uninhibited and rather fearless.

  

I remember my sisters and I would dress up and play house with our dolls pretending our husbands were at work and we were shopping with our babies. Sometimes, we would pretend the baby was sick or we were having a big party. As we got older we traded our baby dolls for Barbie dolls.        

 

We would often take our Barbie Dream House into the front yard and set it up on the cellar door, and all of our friends would come to the yard with their dolls and we would play all day. We would pretend to be teachers, lawyers, doctors, astronauts, you name it we wanted to be it and through our Barbie dolls we were if only for a few hours. We were happy children who laughed and smiled a lot. Today I know that “children who engage in make believe play are more joyful, and smile and laugh more often than those who seem at odds with themselves” (Almon, 2002, p. 4). 

 As I got older into the world of double digits I definitely preferred more physical play. Perhaps, one of the most fun things for me was jumping rope. I was really good at it, and to this day if I see a group of girls playing Double Dutch I always ask for a turn. Unfortunately, I hardly ever see little girls jumping rope anymore, even when I go back to Brooklyn. I totally see why our children are overweight, they do not run, jump, climb or play outdoors nearly as much as we did. I grew up in a time when you went outside and did not come back in the house until the streetlight came on.  

I wish children today knew the joys of stoop ball and stick ball; of double-dutch competitions with their girlfriends – and perhaps a boy or two. The joy of riding  your bikes around the neighborhood together; and in my case, having your uncle teach you to ride on Christmas morning on a playground covered by sheet of ice. Learning to ride my new princess bike on that freezing winter morning was one of the most memorable days of my childhood.

I understand the world is not quite the same as when I was a child, but I feel sorry for children who do not get to roam their neighborhoods and explore their communities, and simply be a child – playing made up games and having fun. Even as teenagers we played touch football and Ring Olivio on our Brooklyn street. To this day, I enjoy my play. I work hard, and nothing makes me feel more relaxed than a game night with friends, or getting out my Super Soaker on a hot summer night for a good water fight with my neighbor’s sons and their friend. I realize that it is my spirit of play that has survived childhood and carried well into middle-age that is responsible for my competitive nature and the self-confidence that makes me successful in the workplace. 

 

Almon, K. (2002). The vital role of play in early childhood education. Gateways, 43. Retrieved                from http://www.waldorflibrary.org/Journal_Articles/GW43almon.pdf

 

 

 

 

Relationship Reflection

My Adult Web

(better known as my support system)

As I write this I am surrounded by my people or ‘peeps’ as I call them. These are the people with whom I have solid, tried and tested relationships; those who have been with me on the mountaintops and in the valleys. It is a small group consisting of my husband, sister, two cousins, two girlfriends and an aunt. I have never been one who thinks we do anything all on our own. I listened to the Republican convention and was amazed at the way they acted as if they lifted themselves up by their bootstraps without any help from anyone. I have achieved a great deal during my lifetime thus far, but not without guidance and inspiration, and sometimes financial help. I have been through some very rough times and again I did not go through them alone. I value the relationships in my life more and more as I get older, and I like to believe that I serve as important a role in the lives of my support network as they do in mine. I am a firm believer like our President that we are better together, looking out for each other.

Let me tell you about my peeps. Someone once said that “A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer”, these are the people I am talking about. First there is my husband, this strong, generous and compassionate man who has never let me down – and I am one of those do not put your trust in a man women. We have been married twenty-two years and experienced the type of devastating loss that usually tear couples apart, but they only made us stronger and brought us closer together. Then there is my sister Roz, who is the Thelma to my Louise, the Shirley to my Laverne, with whom I am always on the phone or out gallivanting. She sees the world the way I do, and though we are very different, we are very much the same in the ways that really matter. Then I have my two favorite cousins, who are more like sisters. Together the four of us have done much laughing and crying, but we focus on the laughter. 

Then there are my girlfriends – the main two being Theresa and Veta. Veta was my college roommate, and though we rarely see each other we can pick up the phone and it’s like we just spoke yesterday. Theresa has had a rough past year, but I have tried to be there for her. Did I mention that these strong, successful women are terrific mothers also, and help fill a void in my life, as I share in their children’s lives. My mother died when I was very young and my aunt, who was an important part of my childhood web, continues to fulfill that role for me. It is at her home I spend the holidays, with her I spend Mother’s Day. She is the one that is constantly whispering or shouting I can do whatever I desire to do. She is the one who takes pride in my accomplishments. Whenever I have needed anything I have been able to turn to any of these people, and they have always come through for me.

I used to joke that a relationship was two people waiting for someone better to come along and then I met my husband. I used to wish I was an only child, and then I grew to appreciate my sister.

“Even though we’ve changed and we’re all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we’ll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we’re not all still friends.”  Anonymous