Ways to Improve My Communications

                                                          By Lisa Martin

I am learning so much about the art of effective communication, and my shortcomings as a communicator. This course is making me pay closer attention to how I speak and listen to others, and I am discovering I am not the great communicator I thought myself to be. For years, my family and close friends have told me I have different styles of speech depending on to who I am speaking, which I adamantly denied. Now I listen to me and I know exactly to what they refer. My speech takes on a more sophisticated and structured form when I am discussing business or simply at work. At work I operate from a position of centralized power. On the other hand, when I get around my family power is of little importance and my tone is more relaxed, with less attention paid to vocabulary choices and grammar. When I am around just my girlfriends or a group of younger people I tend to use slang and try very hard to sound cool and worldly. I think that these communication changes from group to group make me a more effective communicator with each particular group. Most importantly, I am always listening to those around me, and believe I am a good listener.

As I consider ways to improve my communication, listening is not an area I will be focusing on, although I know there is room for improvement. My first strategy for improving my communication skills will be to get a better handle on my use of body language. I would like to begin with controlling or eliminating some of my adaptors. I sometimes unconsciously repeatedly tuck my hair behind my ears or brush back my bangs though it is uncalled for; it is a sort of nervous reaction when I am talking to a client. I also tend to shake or bounce one leg during difficult negotiations.  I believe these physical gestures are seen for what they are a lack of certainty at that moment, and in order to be perceived as totally confident I need to control them. I also need to work on my masking skills. People can often take one look at me and know something is bothering me or I do not agree with what they are saying. It will serve me well when speaking with families and colleagues within the early childhood field if my “expression represented an appropriate feeling or response to any given interaction” (O’Hair & Weimann, 2012, p. 136).

The area I want to focus on the most for improvement is cultural context and intercultural communication competence. I need to understand how different identities and schema may influence the reception of my messages by others. If I am to be a successful anti-bias early educator, I must be able to speak to people in a way that will result in the most positive perception and reception of my ideas. “This calls for constant self-reflection and the ability to reflect on influences and the nature of the influences themselves” (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 48). I will need to study the behaviors of different cultures, and understand the history behind beliefs and customs. If I listen well enough and ask the right questions, I will gather enough knowledge of others to be able to ascertain what they might want and what is most important to them. This knowledge will allow me to use the platinum rule on occasion.

I want very much to support the children and families I serve, by improving their equity and quality of life. I want to be able to lead by example through my advocacy and teach them to advocate and stand up for their children. The only way I can achieve these goals is by constantly working to become a more effective communicator, competent in intercultural communications.

O’Hair, D. & Weimann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction (2^nd ed.). Boston, MA: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.